Quite often we seem to forget how important it is to love and nurture self. Humans and animals expect to be nurture. We make sure everyone is taken care off, feed, hugged, healed and loved.  We run around, we walk around, we sit around, we crawl around, we just get around and at the end of the day we hang our Super Mom suit and cape.  We take a look around to see how well our oiled machine call home ran. It doesn’t need adjustments, the gears are perfect, is clean and honestly, what can go wrong?  Tic tic, tic tac…

And today, our Super Mom suit will free us of any malfunction we can encounter. But wait, something doesn’t fit quite well.  Is a stain in the suit, yes a small one.  We take the suit to the cleaners and wait patiently.  Yes, the stain is gone. So lets do what we do best, save the world.  Well not quite.  We run, walk, sit, crawl and yet we conquer another day. Or we thought. We notice the machine is kind of dusty, running a bit on the slow side.  The gears need a bit more oil. I guess maintenance is the key. And for another day we hang up our Super Mom suit and we are grate full the day is over with no more events that might disorganize or even throw a monkey wrench in the middle of our well-oiled machine, call home.

It takes a bit longer to gear –up, our suit is a bit tight.  But we continue our scheduled agenda.  Not noticing our suit, our Super Mom suits it tearing apart.  They are not big tears, but ones that will need a bit of time to fix.  We need to get around we have not time to fix our suit.  Today, our well -oiled machine, called home is not that well oiled.  We can hear some new sounds, some new movements, very slow ones, but they are there. Noticeable.  We look around noticing all the things you missed.  Today, we did not crawl, much. We did not get around at all and we sit and ponder, what will be our next step?  Should we get a mechanic? Or should we try to fix it ourselves? 

We know we are not a mechanics. And we try over and over again. Nothing happens. We take it apart and we just know we are going to do a great job all by ourselves.  We start putting it together, yes our well-oiled machine, and is looking good. We think we got it, almost there. We finished just to notice a screw was left behind. Where does it go?  It could be an extra screw. What can go wrong without it? Lets try it. 

Another day and our well-oiled machine is ready.  Super Mom suit is ready to be worn. We need to fix the small whole, as we try we see new ones.  They are many holes, small holes, and big holes.  We notice it will be impossible to fix them all at once. We need to get around, is no time to fix them.  And we get around, tired, broken, dusty and hungry.  And we sit and think how can all be done when we have not accomplished one thing we set out to do. 

First, take the Super Mom suit off. Is too small, it smells and is not Halloween.  We need to come back to reality; Rome wasn’t conquered in a day, so what is the need to take on so many responsibilities?  Your inner voice is telling you; right now you need to step aside and let the big guns come and help you.  We are not failures; we just need to admit we are not super women.

Second, when is time to admit we need to take breath of all the good things life has to offer us? In between life and responsibilities is a tiny space where we can go and be happy, exhale, inhale a place where we are able to re-energize.  And come back winners at least for that moment.

Third, when the help arrives do not take it for granted.  Use it wisely, with kindness, love and concern.  We might be able to call on it again.  Our friends love us and care about us. What they don’t care for is a person who knows it all and when is in trouble runs to them for another loan. Yes, friends should love each other unconditionally; sometimes we run them away with our constant need for help. Be self sufficient, only you know how much of self you know and how sufficient you are learning about self.  Never take the love and concern of friends for granted, it hurts and it will leave you in a lonely place.

Fourth, people will have many expectations from us.  They are not counting or waiting, maybe.  But you are the Super Mom so you should be able to do everything for them.  Why? You may ask.  Well, when your alter ego was in all of its glory, you were trying to conquer every task by yourself.  The grocery shopping, the dance classes, in the gym, running a business, the wife, the daughter and once again Super Mom.  How many times we asked for help?  Did they; offer of course not.  Or did we accept the help that was offered?  Arrogance is much of a behavior, which will isolate you from the world. Nobody likes an arrogant person, who knows it all, does all on her own and tries in the process to minimize others with such behavior.

Humbleness is the key to a good relationship. Together with communication, love and understanding.  Leaving behind the concept of “I” and integrating  “we” as part of our new vocabulary.  Everyone around you will see the change and learn to appreciate the new Super Mom.  The one who knows how to ask for help when her suit gets to tight.


Published by

Boricua Muslimah

Graduate from Rutgers Newark. Journalist, photographer and videographer.

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